I learned to quiet my voice because I feared that I would be noticed and judged, and therefore told I wasn’t good enough. My experiences with friends letting me down and excluding me taught me that going against the grain was too much of a risk. I didn’t want to be seen because I feared judgment from people that didn’t know me and even worse, rejection from people who did.

But there is a freedom in using our voices to share our lives and stories with the people around us. The words won’t be perfect but that’s where a little courage, gentle compassion, and grace for ourselves come in to nudge us on our way. As I reflect on this new year, I won’t let fear stop me from experiencing that freedom. I will say what my soul needs to say and continue to share my story through my writing. Courage doesn’t always look like a big dive into the ocean, it might just look like a few strokes forward.

Confronting the deepest parts of our hearts is daunting. Will we fall apart? Will we reopen the still raw wounds? Are we as strong as we think we are? Did we learn the lessons we were supposed to learn?

Using our voice requires us to get better acquainted with what’s really going on in our hearts. There are nuances in the pains and joys in our lives and allocating words to them forces us to understand them better.

Using my voice and sharing my story and life makes me feel incredibly vulnerable. I don’t want to confront the parts of my heart that are full of gunk. But I will trust God to lovingly guide the excavation of my heart. I am not on my own. The feelings and opinions of others do not make me any less beautiful, loved or worthy.

~~~~~~

It is one thing to understand our mess, but it’s another to share it.

Sharing our mess feels like a huge risk. It’s a messy process.

Still there is power in owning the mess and not running from it. To confront the scars in the grooves of our hearts is to know who we fully are, and stand in it without shame or pretense.

Having a voice means having courage to give due attention and care to the things in our heart that are easier to brush over. It means being proactive in the healing process of past hurts. It means not allowing ourselves to be a victim in our stories anymore.

Having a voice means claiming our worth by naming our fears and replacing them with truth.

~~~~~~

Will you dare with me to reach down and give a voice to the hidden parts of ourselves? I hope it helps you conquer your own fears that have stopped you from shining your light and being who you are.

You’re important- and that includes your unique voice and perspective, your individual flaws, struggles, and limits. Sharing who you are unapologetically at the risk of being unaccepted or disliked, is worth it and is the only way I now want to live.

For 2019, I don’t need to set these lofty goals to be a completely different person. I accept who I was and who I am becoming, because it is all part of who I am. I will continue to say the things engraved on my heart. Will you join me?