Why Closed Doors are (Painful But) Important

I think one of the most painful things a person can experience is having to end a relationship with someone you deeply care about but know is detrimental to your growth and well-being. Closing the door to a relationship that your heart wishes would remain open is a decision that requires immeasurable courage and grace.

The closed door often precedes a period of mourning, a wilderness, and many questions. What comes next is an arduous process of healing that is painful but necessary. The closed door precipitates introspection that can only come from a jolt of a door slammed in your face when you thought you were finally at home.

But I believe a closed door also opens up the entryway to what is meant to be a part of your life- relationships, meaning, and understanding that lasts.

A closed door narrows the possibilities of the future, which is a hard pill to swallow because having options and freedom seems so much more desirable. But I am learning the relief in surrendering what I thought I knew and wanted and honoring the resilience in knowing I can find peace, and even beauty, in what remains. When the only option left is to love yourself enough to continue to explore what's ahead and excavate the light in the hard places, there is a softening and humility that comes with grace.

I choose to have faith that even with closed chapters, I have not lost anything that I need now. And maybe, miraculously, I have even more than I did before, like recognition and acceptance of what I have to offer and what matters to me; contentment in windy paths, still valleys, and glorious hilltops alike; and understanding that the capacity and love of another does not reflect my own.

What is still in my hands can be used to create new and extraordinary things. It will look different than I imagined and hoped, but imagination and hope still light the path I am on, for which I am so grateful.

I have lost, but I have not lost. May that ring true for you too, fellow battle-worn and battle-won conqueror.