30 THINGS I LEARNED BEFORE TURNING 30
I am turning 30 this week! It is mind-boggling to think about how much I have learned to get to 30. As I bid adieu to my twenties and as an ode to Tswift's article this month in Elle Magazine, here are 30 things I have learned before turning 30.
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Lesson
ONE
Taking care of your body and well-being is important. I played sports growing up so I naturally enjoyed heavy pre- and post-game meals and didn't think too much about it. It wasn't until much later on that I learned healthy food and exercise is an important part of taking care of yourself. Basically, your body can’t handle the s*** you put it through when you were younger. I still love my sweet treats and don't go to the gym as often as I'd like, but I'm more conscious of the benefits of healthy physical habits and I'd count that as a win.
Lesson
TWO
Being yourself is magical. It is so hard not to care what people think about you and who you should be. People are so quick to judge and it can make you feel like there is something wrong with you. Being yourself is freeing, because you don't have to constantly strive to be anything but you.
Lesson
THREE
Painful experiences can impact you for a long time but don't define you. Heartbreak and pain is inevitable in life. I spent so much of my twenties regretting that I allowed myself to get hurt, but now I’m more focused on celebrating everything I've been through to get to where I am. I don't regret the mistakes I've made and the lessons I've learned along the way. You do the best you can. Beating yourself up as you learn and grow isn't productive or something you deserve.
Lesson
FOUR
Figuring out how to process and express emotions in a healthy way is essential. My teenage years were filled with a lot of emotions and angst and I didn't know how to share what I was going through. I wasn't taught how to healthily process my emotions, so for a long time I suppressed them or lashed out when I hit a boiling point. This is still a learning process but having emotions is normal and healthy. Finding ways to acknowledge and release your feelings, like journaling or talking to a good friend is a game changer. Be gentle with yourself!
Lesson
FIVE
Not everyone has your best interests at heart. This may seem like a downer but it is such a pivotal life lesson I've learned. Knowing this helps you create and keep boundaries which allows you to actually be more generous with your spirit. You can still act with love towards people who don’t have your best interests at heart, but don’t allow them to make you feel bad about yourself or negatively influence you.
Lesson
SIX
I’ve learned you can build healthier thought-patterns and habits. Sometimes your brain can hyper-focus on negative thought-patterns and it’s hard to stop when it does. Taking small steps to remind ourselves we are good and whatever we’re obsessing over won’t kill us can snap us out of the loops we get stuck in.
Lesson
SEVEN
Love is real. That kind of love that nourishes you and changes how you see the world. Not because you need a person, but because they make you better. You deserve someone to delight in you and think you are hot s***, because you are. Embody the same kind of love for them.
Lesson
EIGHT
Healthy, genuine and uplifting relationships are possible. Finding your community takes time but you will find people who get you and want the best for you. And when you do, hold on for dear life and never take it for granted. They are pure gifts in this world.
Lesson
nine
Don't take yourself so seriously. Letting things go quickly and not harboring unnecessary anger or regret makes life so much easier. I've learned to not be so hard on myself which has made me more understanding of others. Laugh at yourself often, because being awkward and weird is human and usually very hilarious.
Lesson
TEN
Perfectionism does more harm than good. If you hang on to the idea that you have to be perfect to be loved or accepted, you are setting yourself up to be constantly disappointed. Trying to be perfect all the time is just plain old exhausting. You don't have to be perfect. Actually, there is no such thing. So let go of the unattainable standards you have set for yourself and let them crumble down. After all that, you'll be left with just you, and that's perfectly enough.
Lesson
ELEVEN
Be nice to others even if they're not nice to you. I got badly burned by a friend in my early twenties and I vowed to never be taken advantage of like that again. I thought being nice was stupid and made you too vulnerable. But now that I'm turning 30, I think being consciously kind to others is actually brave and an extremely loving act. We need more of that in this world, especially now.
Lesson
TWELVE
Overthinking is the worst. Do not overanalyze every mistake or obsess over how you could have done things differently. This just leads you to feel bad about yourself and doesn't fix anything. It's better to focus on what IS going well instead. And cut yourself some damn slack.
Lesson
THIRTEEN
Find wholeness in your own identity. Everyone has moments of not feeling good enough but looking for temporary fixes is futile. Take the time to enjoy and appreciate your own company. Don't depend on other people for your happiness.
Lesson
FOURTEEN
Inequality in the U.S. and the world exists. Racism, sexism, and socioeconomic inequality exist and create institutional barriers that have real and tangible impacts on individuals and communities. We have to acknowledge these personal experiences and collectively act to combat injustice.
Lesson
FIFTEEN
You don't have to explain yourself to everyone. People may judge and misunderstand you. But it’s not your responsibility to prove them wrong. Spend more time on proving the people who know and love you right, including yourself.
Lesson
SIXTEEN
Not everyone will like you and that's okay. If the bar for success in life was to be liked by everybody, we’d all be screwed. Just because you’re not someone’s cup of tea, doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you. Don’t change yourself to fit into a mold or expectation. Be yourself and the people who matter will find you and see the best in you.
Lesson
SEVENTEEN
Live in the present. Don't dwell on the past or future, you don’t have control of either of them. What you do have control over is how you respond to what’s right in front of you, and how to make the most of it. Enjoy things now- all the people, experiences, and opportunities. There will never be a moment just like this.
Lesson
EIGHTEEN
Don't be afraid of failing. The worst thing that can happen when you try, is it doesn’t work out. It may sting and hurt your pride. But each time we get up after we fail, we get better at moving forward the next time.
Lesson
NINETEEN
Be happy for other people's wins. Be happy for the success and achievements of other people, rather than being jealous of them. Celebrating with others is much more fulfilling. Their progress doesn't take anything away from you and doesn't mean you're not doing enough.
Lesson
TWENTY
Run your own race. Someone else's path will not look like yours and thank goodness because that would be so boring. We all have different talents, strengths and weaknesses. Do what's right for you and don't compare yourself to other people.
Lesson
TWENTY-ONE
Learn how to love yourself. I spent years replaying mistakes and berating myself for them. But we all deserve space to grow and give ourselves credit for doing the best we can. You’re allowed to have moments of feeling badly about yourself, but choose not to believe what these feelings are telling you. Choose to believe the best things about yourself instead.
Lesson
TWENTY-TWO
Food is one of my love languages. Cook me a meal or treat me to dinner, and I will be your friend for life. I am not the most skilled chef, so not only are you serving me with delicious food, you are taking care of one of my fundamental needs. Thank you, friend.
Lesson
TWENTY-THREE
Writing is an essential part of my self-care. I have so many thoughts at any given time and it can be hard to keep track of all of them. Writing how I feel and what I am going through helps me make sense of what’s going on in my heart. My thoughts don’t have to be organized or look pretty but the simple act of writing is an act of self-care.
Lesson
TWENTY-FOUR
You don’t have to be good at everything. What a relief to know we don’t have to impress others with every aspect of our lives. We can be good at some things, and worse at others. As I get older, I see my strengths more clearly and embrace my limitations.
Lesson
TWENTY-FIVE
Everyone has innate value. Every person matters and has a profound beauty. Every person has something to offer the world and is created with unique gifts. Every person deserves love. Let’s treat people with love.
Lesson
TWENTY-SIX
You can’t fix every problem. We don’t always have the answers. The sooner we get comfortable with this, the easier life is. Sometimes we have to surrender what we think we know and want and let life take its course. We can only try our best and relinquish the rest.
Lesson
TWENTY-SEVEN
Spend time with the people you love. This life is precious and the relationships that mean the most to us are worth our time and energy. Make a conscious effort to spend time with the people you love. Not only does it enhance relationships, it also feeds our souls.
Lesson
TWENTY-EIGHT
Setting and maintaining boundaries is life-changing. If we know what is important to us and articulate it to others, we can be more confident in our decisions and thoroughly enjoy the company of others. We all have the right to explore what we are comfortable with and ask others to respect the boundaries we set.
Lesson
TWENTY-NINE
Life should be f***** fun. Be as lighthearted as you can while you pursue your interests and passions. Live with a little whimsy and be a little reckless. Enjoy yourself and the people around you. Do things that make you happy, like eating ice cream, jumping out of a plane, or walking in the park with a friend. Do them often.
Lesson
thirty
You never stop growing. Lessons take time to learn. Cherish the hard-earned ones and pat yourself on the back every so often. It is hard to see growth when you are in the thick of your circumstances, so take time to reflect on what you've learned along the way. And maybe even share it with others.
